You possess an amazing survival instinct as a human being on earth. These basic instincts can allow us to survive some very difficult situations or even avoid personal injury. As human beings we have a tremendous ability to overcome enormous obstacles and survive sometimes intense trauma.

Overcoming an especially difficult situation or time in your life can either make you feel stronger or even more often, it can simply go the other way. 

Surviving traumatic events can make us feel more drained, wounded, helpless and weak.  When this happens, we must work through the pain to heal. Otherwise we can be stunted by a wound that never heals.

We fail to heal our pain whenever we lack the proper insight to fully resolve something, are unwilling or afraid to face our buried emotions, or lack the confidence to continue the healing process.

We all have free will.  This freedom allows us to choose the mental view we will have of any obstacles that become a part of our lives.  We can either view them as a trauma or its opposite, a needed  growth opportunity moving. Growth moves us steadily toward greater compassion in our life.

Look closely at your life. Try to realize how subjective your perceptions are. As numerous as your genetic traits, such are the myriads of possible realities between all people who exist on this planet together. 

Remember reality is in the eye of the beholder.   This is also true of your traumatic experiences. They are all yours.  The feelings you have, the thoughts you think are no one else’s. What you view as traumatic, may not be traumatic for another person.

For instance, have you ever had a friend or family member call very upset. They wanted to tell you about an experience that was just “awful”. Then while they tell you the various details of the dreaded event, you may judge what happened to them. You may feel they are either under reacting or over reacting.

I would have given that person a piece of my mind!

I don’t think I would have reacted that way!

I am not sure what the big deal is?

Is something happening to you again? There’s always a crisis.

Like it or not. We all have a unique perception. One that we must use to evaluate each and every event in our life.

Our perception of life is key in what we view as a good event or what gets placed in the other category as a bad event. The challenge we have is to admit or realize that our ever fluctuating perceptions of reality are mostly false.  The ultimate truth can be blocked from our viewpoint.  We simply may not see what we most need to about ourselves to heal. This can be due too many negative behavior patterns that are accumulated as the result of unresolved trauma. Many belief systems call this unresolved traumatic energy, your karma. 

Most often we are encountering what we would call our negative karma. We can also create positive karma or merit for the generous things we do.

There are many misconceptions about karma. Some people think that it is about “making up” for past wrongs.  This is not the correct view. This view will only keep you stuck in the subconscious behaviors of atonement and retribution. Karma is really about the Law of Attraction.  Like attracts like; positive actions will draw positive and negative will draw negative. 

Many situations are easy to judge as bad. Especially when others support our negative viewpoint.  As a result, we may find ourselves seeking sympathy, someone to hear feelings, a way to fully process what happened or a means of support.  Those are times that, after the details are given, we may also think: Oh that is awful. I truly can relate to that. I can’t believe that other person did that to you!

When we resonant or relate to a person’s particular situation we can view it in two ways: with sympathy or with empathy.

Sympathy is the more common view we hold at times

It is customary to send sympathy cards to people we care about when a loss in the family occurs.  We offer our condolences for their situation or circumstance.  This is a truly compassionate act of course.

When sympathy is held in the correct view, it is a compassionate act, full of unconditional love, healthy boundaries and knowledge of what is yours to do. We are compassionate toward self and others.

When sympathy is held in the wrong view, sympathy is feeling sorry for someone. We feel like we should help fix it for them. We try to jump in and spare them from the pain.  In this case, compassion  has more to do with pitying a person’s particular situation than expressing a connection to another person.

This wrong view does not recognize acceptance but sees disappointment in life.  It may not acknowledge the belief that everything in life has a divine purpose. It further supports the victimized or traumatized view. It allows the disillusion of suffering which may allow the person to play the roll of martyr.  Looking at life through disillusioned eyes can cause us to place blame on other people for things that do not go well in your life.  It denies accountability. It denies our divine truth and power.

Sympathy is truly not a compassionate endeavor to either the person helping or the person helped.

Empathy is a the most balanced, generous view of support

Empathy is true understanding and compassion for a person is who is experiencing something negative that causes them human suffering. We can hold the space in our heart-mind to personify real compassion.  The compassion we generate is never ending and is not created out of pity.

Empathy can see and acknowledge another person’s suffering. Empathy has true compassion for that person’s inherent suffering. Empathy supports the empowered view that every moment in our life is fully accepted and necessary. 

Empathy also honors the perfect processes in an individual person’s life and hold them as our own. A process that they should not be saved from or that should never be taken away.  Supporting someone with empathy, offers them real support and compassion but doesn’t take away from the process or attempt to fix it. It also honor’s the self and having healthy boundaries.

Choosing the path of empathy can create tremendous growth opportunity in yourself and  others. 

Compassion in the right view can help us achieve greater spiritual awareness and bring enlightenment to our lives.

Learning to have true compassion for ourselves can allow us to feel strong enough to face many of life’s challenges and resolve them. 

We can heal our negative view of trauma’s place in our lives.  We can allow ourselves to feel our many emotions whenever required, rather than leaving them it to manifest later as more negative energy in our live.

We have greater divine instincts that can help us to live life, rather than survive life.   We have the ability to see the true reality in our lives rather than suppressing it. 

Heal yourself whenever you need it. You are precious. Choose to value the powerful and beautiful gift you’ve been given in your human life.

CJ Martes is an international healer, author and creator of Akashic Field TherapySM (AFT), an integral method of Soul Clearing that helps individuals identify and then remove subconscious negative patterns and beliefs at the mental, physical and spiritual level. Trained in Vibrational Healing and advanced Soul Clearing and inspired by Quantum Theories and Spiral Dynamics, her work blends Behavioral and Integral Psychology, Vibrational Medicine, and cutting-edge Western science to produce amazing results. An accomplished writer and teacher, CJ has lectured and trained students throughout all over the United States. Using her healing gifts and AFT method to assist others in creating clarity of mind, body and spirit. She has touched the lives of thousands of clients both in the U.S. and in over ten different countries. She can be contacted by visiting her website: www.cjmartes.com  or by calling (816) 841-4890.